The Best Love..

The best love is the kind that awakens the soul and makes us reach for more.

~ The Notebook ~

Feeling GOOD!!!

Day started off GLUM...but have a few songs in reserve that always does the trick and makes me feel GREAT!!
Feel the wind blowing through your hair, throw your arms wide open and sing!

Simple Minds - She's a river



SIMPLE MINDS – She’s a river

Shadow let go
There's something you should know
I just found my new direction
And I hope you like the key
Like the air that led me to it
She's like the wind that sucked me through it
She's a river and she's turning there in front of me
Stand back - get back
She'll paint your blue skies black
She gives bullet proof protection
Got a resurrection feel
When I'm scared, and 'bout to lose
She gives me travelling shoes
She's a river and she's turning in front of me
And I go blind
Wasting my time
While the rivers in front of me
That's where I'm goin' to be

Shine on, get on
Twilight from dusk to dawn
She's the spirit of creation
She's the last chance guarantee
Got a myriad of poses
Sweet miracles and roses
She's a river and she's turning in front of me

'Cause when I find
My state of mind
The river's in front of me

They say that every heaven's got a thousand rooms
So take me on that freedom ride
My heart is like a hunter's in the silent moon
My nerves just feel electrified
Meet me on the staircase
Outside a darkened room
Light me like a naked flame
The voice of Mother Nature states
All things must pass
And nothing can remain
They say that every heaven's got a thousand rooms
So take me on that freedom ride

You raise me like a building to the very top
Rush me to the end of time
You fill me full of danger
You give me future shock
Then you leave me wasted dying

And I go blind
Wasting my time
The river's in front of me

Things that count..

Not everything that counts can be counted,

and not everything that can be counted counts.

~ Albert Einstein ~

Touch the Sky

This photo is called "Touch the sky.."

http://www.flower-pictures-online.com/picture-of-a-daisy-flower.html writes:

This white daisy is a beautiful picture of a daisy flower. On warm sunny days she folds open her petals to face the sun. This particular day was an all blue sky day ... an African blue sky day.

(We do have beautiful African Blue Sky days here in South Africa.)

What does a daisy symbolize?

A little note before I tell you what a daisy symbolizes...

Always decide what a flower means to you personally, before you lend your ears out to hear what others think. Do not let the symbolic meaning of the flower spoil your enjoyment of it.

To me a daisy is:

• open
• simple
• friendly
• fresh
• happy

I found other meanings:

• do you love me?
• innocence
• purity
• classic symbol of beauty
• loyal love
• I'll never tell

Found the picture while browsing the internet for pictures of daisies. The symbolic meaning struck me as true! My mother chose daisies to be the flowers at her wedding. When I sit in meetings I tend to draw daisies all over my documents. Never planned the pictures on the blog to be of daisies..so I guess I am fascinated by daisies.

Longing

This poem I wrote a while ago, tonight serves as the starting point of my thoughts. Admitted there are many thoughts tonight, and as usual they are tumbling about without the order and discipline that my personality requires...there goes another line of thinking. But maybe let's start at the poem and then see where this goes.

Longing

While the world slept
We embraced for a moment
It’s more than miles and months that separate us.

Our touch was tentative
Our kisses careful
It’s more than miles and months that separate us.

How can I already be letting you go
when you filled the void so perfectly
It’s more than miles and months that separate us.

Have started reading The Secret by Rhonda Byrne and one of the points she makes is that you should feel your thoughts...then I also read the first couple of pages of Women who run with the Wolves by Clarissa Pinkola Estes and she says that women have been conditioned to fit their personalities into boxes to suit society. The author SARK, that I continually read on her website and in her books, is a front runner of both the above and also of the rediscovery of our untamed inner woman.

Now take the above and file it...:-) and then I'll start at another beginning.

Today, well by now, yesterday, was my 34th birthday.

The night before my birthday I started getting a little tense about, well among other things, reaching the (to me) BIG 35. MID-thirties. My friends of course assured me that 34 does not yet account for MID-thirties, but still. I am horrified at the fact that the numbers on the age dial are moving faster and faster and at 34 I have reached the point where I have never been so fat as I am now, I have in my six years as a single parent never been so alone, and last but not so bad, I have never been so broke as I am now. According to society, I am supposed to be climbing the ladder of success. I should be living in a nice house, be driving a nice car and wearing nice clothes by now (as many of my friends do). But I don't.

WHY IS THIS??

Well, at least at 34, I have realised that conformity can be very comforting and easy, and I regularly use that as a scapegoat when I have to, but all the books I mentioned above, tell of non-conforming...they do! Being your own self, doing what makes you happy, even if that makes you look silly to other people..

So where does that leave me?

After a wonderful day, filled with love and good wishes and presents and phone calls, one of the messages confirming that I do have an untamed heart...:-) - I waved at the taillights of the last friend leaving and realized...I have a big fat overwhelming hollowness inside and I felt the tears welling up. What is wrong? Why do I want to cry tears of sadness after a day that many people dream of??

Night before last another one of my friends left a message for me on mxit about how he experienced the lowest low after his break-up with his girlfriend and he asked for advise.

Guess what I told him.. Be thankful for today, this moment, the house you live in now, the car you drive now, the clothes you feel comfortable in and realise that just because society dictates certain rules does not mean that we SHOULD conform..and letting go of the fears associated with NOT FITTING IN. We should realise that the moment we have now is unlike any other that we will ever have again, we should enjoy it and stop wasting time thinking of what might be, or what was. See, I get all this in the clever books I read. I was so comfortable with this new line of thought that I blogged about it!! Ha! Surprise! You fell into your own thought trap.

Brutally honest??

I am so lonely that I feel like....well, I feel like something that is very hollow and very lonely.

And that is where the poem comes in.

As some people do, I often grab onto straws to try and keep my head above water, so that I do not drown in my own loneliness. Then I write poems about the straws..:-), but now as I read between the lines, I see that even then, I realised at some unconscious level, that they were only straws... (reflected in the MORE than miles and months that seperate us and the LETTING GO.)

I will now adjust my thoughts, by taking them to a happy place, and after a night's rest, we'll see what tomorrow brings.

Big Game Hunter / Bird Whisperer

Meet Nina: she came into our lives in August 2006. My daughter decided that my cat is not fun to play with and she wanted her own pet. Without my consent she brought a kitten home. Being allergic, I was not too impressed, but this cat has a personality that soon won me over.

Nina loves chasing birds, but while kreeping up to them she makes little noises, as if whispering to them. We started calling her the bird whisperer..

Last saturday night, Nina caught a bat and proudly came to show off her catch. She however, lost control of her catch and the bat started flying around in the room. I spent the last hours of the night sleeping with my head underneath the duvet. With the help of a next door neighbour we managed to get the bat out of the house the next morning, but that evening Nina was back with the bat in her mouth. My daughter and I could not catch the bat and decided to just close the door to our rooms..while the bat spent the last hours of it's life being a toy. After it died, Nina decided that a bat was not enough and caught a mouse, what a discovery when you're expecting to find a dead bat, only to find a dead mouse as well. That is how Nina became the "big game hunter". We love her to bits and no allergy will ever be able to seperate her from our family!

The Tree-lined road

One afternoon not so long ago rObC took me on a mini-adventure, to a 2.8km tree-lined road on the outskirts of Bloemfontein. It was in the middle of winter, but even then, this road was beautiful with the trees making a canopy of leaves above. We forgot the camera - which could have fitted in the top-box, so we vowed that we would take pictures of the trees in summer.

There is something about driving underneath a canopy of leaves that leaves me feeling breathless with awe.

In the trees, there are beehives, although there weren't as many as during the winter.

a Few people share my feelings about trees:

***

The groves were God's first temples.

~William Cullen Bryant, "A Forest Hymn" ~

***

The trees are God's great alphabet:

With them He writes in shining green across the world, His thoughts serene.

~Leonora Speyer~

***

There is always music amongst the trees in the garden, but our hearts must be very quiet to hear it.

~Minnie Aumonier~

***

Alone with myself, the trees bend to caress me, the shade hugs my heart.

~Candy Polgar~

***

Chestnut Tree

I am not a believer in horoscopes - but did this one for the fun on
BLOGTHINGS - Celtic Horoscope - and it was really accurate!

You Are A Chestnut Tree

You are a born diplomat with a well developed sense of justice. And even though you're impressive and intimidating, you're also fun to be around. You can be irritated easily, and you sometimes act superior. Nevertheless, you are sensitive of others feelings and very loyal. Sometimes you feel misunderstood and are fiercely close to those who know you best.

a GOOD laugh!

9 Personalities

In life we are surrounded by all kinds of people with their own personalities, characters and professions. It is sometimes necessary to sit down and categorize these people so that you can know who will be of positive value in your life or will not be positive towards your personal development.

Below is a list of personalities that will help you sort the people that form part of your life and thus assist you with personal development.

a While ago I found that I was surrounded by people that were not necessarily positive towards my personal development and growth. In a conversation with a friend one day, she told me to move these people aside, because I was spending to much energy on them. My first thought was that I could not POSSIBLY do this but after much thought and difficult as it was I did do that. Now I find myself surrounded by wonderful friends and other people that not only mean the world to me, but to whom I can also mean something and they truly inspire me to be more and better and with all this new found energy I can do more for them and others! Wonderful how this Karma thing works!

1. ENERGISERS

POSITIVELY ORIENTATED PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE THAT GIVE YOU EMOTIONAL ENERGY.

2. DOOR-OPENERS

PEOPLE THAT PRESENT YOU WITH OPPORTUNITIES IN LIFE.

3. UNCONDITIONAL ACCEPTANCE/SUPPORT

PEOPLE CLOSE TO YOU THAT ACCEPT YOU FOR WHO AND WHAT YOU ARE,THAT WILL NOT JUDGE OR ABANDON YOU.

4. REFERENCE GROUP

PEOPLE WHO PROVIDE YOU WITH KNOWLEDGE, EMOTIONALLY OR COGNITIVELY.

5. MENTORS

PEOPLE THAT TEACH YOU ABOUT LIFE AND GUIDE YOU ON ALL TERRAINS OF YOUR LIFE.

6. EXPERTS

PEOPLE WITH WHOM YOU CONSULT AND PAY FOR THEIR SERVICES eg. DOCTORS FOR MEDICAL ADVICE.

7. DESTROYERS/MANIPULATORS

PEOPLE WHO MAKE IT THEIR LIFE’S MISSION TO PUT YOU DOWN AND AFFECT YOU IN EVERY POSSIBLE NEGATIVE WAY.

8. DOWNERS

PEOPLE WHO DRAIN YOU OF EMOTIONAL ENERGY AND LEAVE YOU NEGATIVELY ORIENTATED TOWARDS LIFE.

9. CHALLENGERS

PEOPLE WHO CONSTANTLY CHALLENGE YOUR EMOTIONS AND INTELLIGENCE FOR EITHER POSITIVE OR NEGATIVE REASONS.

Awakening

For some or other reason I think I've reached this stage in my life..

Had we still been married - today would have been our 10th anniversary.

After being alone for 6 years, I don't have any more excuses for not moving forward in life.

A time comes in your life when you finally get it...When in the midst of all your fears and insanity you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere the voice inside your head cries out - ENOUGH!!! Enough fighting and crying or struggling to hold on. And, like a child quieting down after a blind tantrum, your sobs begin to subside, you shudder once or twice, you blink back your tears and through a mantle of wet lashes you begin to look at the world through new eyes.

This is your awakening.

You realise that it's time to stop hoping and waiting for something to change, or for happiness, safety and security to come galloping over the next horizon. You come to terms with the fact that he is not Prince Charming and you are not Cinderella and that in the real world there aren't always fairy tale endings (or beginnings for that matter) and that any guarantee of "happily ever after" must begin with you, and in the process... a sense of serenity is born of acceptance.

You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect, and that not everyone will always love, appreciate or approve of who or what you are... and that's OK.

They are entitled to their own views and opinions. And you learn the importance of loving and championing yourself, and in the process...a sense of newly found confidence is born of self-approval. You stop bitching and blaming other people for the things they did to you (or didn't do for you) and you learn that the only thing you can really count on is the unexpected. You learn that people don't always say what they mean or mean what they say, and that not everyone will always be there for you, and that it's not always about you. So, you learn to stand on your own and to take care of yourself and in the process...a sense of safety & security is born of self-reliance.

You stop judging and pointing fingers, and you begin to accept people as they are, and to overlook their shortcomings and human frailties and, in the process...a sense of peace & contentment is born of forgiveness.

You realise that much of the way you view yourself, and the world around you, is a result of all the messages and opinions that have been ingrained into your psyche. And you begin to sift through all the crap you've been fed about how you should behave, how you should look, how much you shouldn't weigh, what you should wear, where you should shop, what you should drive, how and where you should live, what you should do for a living, who you should sleep with, who you should marry, what you should expect of a marriage, the importance of having and raising children, or what you owe your parents. You learn to open up to new worlds and different points of view.

And you begin reassessing and redefining who you are and what you really stand for. You learn the difference between wanting and needing, and you begin to discard the doctrines and values you've outgrown, or should never have bought into to begin with, and in the process... you learn to go with your instincts.

You learn that it is truly in giving that we receive. And that there is power and glory in creating and contributing, and you stop maneuvering through life merely as a "consumer" looking for your next fix. You learn that principles such as honesty and integrity are not the outdated ideals of a bygone era, but the mortar that holds together the foundation upon which you must build a life.

You learn that you don't know everything, it's not your job to save the world, and that you can't teach a pig to sing. You learn to distinguish between guilt and responsibility, and the importance of setting boundaries and learning to say NO. You learn that the only cross to bear is the one you choose to carry, and that martyrs get burned at the stake.

Then you learn about love. Romantic love and familial love. How to love, how much to give in love, when to stop giving, and when to walk away. You learn not to project your needs or your feelings onto a relationship. You learn that you will not be more beautiful, more intelligent, more loveable, or important because of the man or woman on your arm or the child that bears your name. You learn to look at relationships as they really are and not as you would have them be.

You stop trying to control people, situations, and outcomes. You learn that just as people grow and change, so it is with love.... and you learn that you don't have the right to demand love on your terms... just to make you happy. And, you learn that alone does not mean lonely...

And you look in the mirror and come to terms with the fact that you will never be a size 5 or a perfect 10 and you stop trying to compete with the image inside your head and agonizing over how you "stack up."

You also stop working so hard at putting your feelings aside, smoothing things over, and ignoring your needs. You learn that feelings of entitlement are perfectly OK.... and that it is your right to want things and to ask for the things that you want...and that sometimes it is necessary to make demands. You come to the realisation that you deserve to be treated with love, kindness, sensitivity, and respect, and you will not settle for less.

And you allow only the hands of a lover who cherishes you, to glorify you with his or her touch... and in the process you internalise the meaning of self-respect. And you learn that your body really is your temple.

You learn that fatigue diminishes the spirit and can create doubt and fear, so you take more time to rest. And, just as food fuels the body, laughter fuels our soul, so you take more time to laugh and to play. You learn that, for the most part, in life you get what you believe you deserve... and that much of life truly is a self-fulfilling prophecy. You learn that anything worth achieving is worth working for, and that wishing for something to happen is different from working toward making it happen. More importantly, you learn that in order to achieve success, you need direction, discipline, and perseverance. You also learn that no one can do it all alone and that it's OK to risk asking for help.

You learn that the only thing you must truly fear is the great robber baron of all time - FEAR itself. You learn to step right into and through your fears, because you know that whatever happens you can handle it, and to give in to fear is to give away the right to live life on your terms. And you learn to fight for your life and not to squander it living under a cloud of impending doom. You learn that life isn't always fair, you don't always get what you think you deserve, and that sometimes bad things happen to unsuspecting, good people. On these occasions you learn not to personalise things. You learn that God isn't punishing you or failing to answer your prayers. It's just life happening. And you learn to deal with evil in its most primal state - the ego. You learn that negative feelings such as anger, envy, and resentment must be understood and redirected, or they will suffocate the life out of you and poison the universe that surrounds you. You learn to admit when you are wrong and to build bridges instead of walls. You learn to be thankful and to take comfort in many of the simple things we take for granted, things that millions of people upon the earth can only dream about a full refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm bed, a long hot shower.

Slowly, you begin to take responsibility for yourself... by yourself, and you try to make yourself a promise -- to never betray yourself and to never ever settle for less than your heart's desire. And you hang a wind chime outside your window so you can listen to the wind. And you make it a point to keep smiling, to keep trusting, and to stay open to every wonderful possibility.

Finally, with courage in your heart, you take a stand, you take a deep breath, and you begin to design the life you want to live as best as you can.

AUTHOR UNKNOWN